Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Think Your Day's Bad?


  • Not enough sleep
  • Nausea
  • Respiratory virus
  • Dog with explosive diarrhea
  • Scrubbing dried diarrhea off floor, toilet, walls, sink
  • Looming mineral identification quiz
  • 7 papers to review
  • Lecture to watch
  • House to clean
  • Meals to cook
  • Sick toddler to care for
  • Homework
On the other hand

  • I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from
  • I don't have to worry about my daughter being taken by ISIS
  • I have a house, a bed, electricity, running potable water, medicine, peace
How's your day?

Monday, September 22, 2014

Coolest Checker Ever

I just went to the store and picked up a dental prescription for my husband.  I got a few other things, and put the prescription on the check out counter so it would get bagged with my groceries.  I wasn't really paying attention, and the checker didn't put it in the bag.

HOWEVER....

He did chase me into the parking lot, yelling, "Hey!  You forgot your husband's suppositories!"

Best

Day

Ever

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Baptists & Mormons

I just had a really strange experience.  I recently changed doctors, and my new doctor mentioned to me that prayer can be very helpful.  I agreed with him, and we ended up in a discussion about religion.  He asked what church I go to, and I told him that my family and I are LDS.

Just for further clarification, LDS is a term relating to Mormons, though the official name of our church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Anyway, back to the story.

The doctor was super nice and everything, and told me that he's Baptist.  I told him that I had a friend when I was in elementary school whose father was a Baptist minister.  I then said that I was surprised when I attended church with her to see just how similar the two religions are.

He was horrified.

Don't get me wrong, he was still way nice and everything, but I could tell that he was totally not okay with being compared to a Mormon.  He essentially said that the two religions are nothing alike.  So, I decided to write a post about how they are the same.  Because I'm bored.  And this blog is dedicated to random crapito.

I tried to find the most "official" site I could for the Baptist religion and settled on http://www.sbc.net/aboutus/basicbeliefs.asp, which is the Southern Baptist Convention.  In the first sentence on this page, they say that their mission is to "reach the world for Christ."  Mormons believe the same thing.

The site then says, "The Holy Bible was written by men divinely inspired and is God's revelation of Himself to man."  Match.  "It reveals the principles by which God judges us....All Scripture is a testimony to Christ, who is Himself the focus of divine revelation."  Checkerino.

We both believe that Christ is the Son of God, though there is a difference of opinion about whether God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are one or three people.  In spite of this, belief in Christ's mission and atonement are the same.  The Holy Ghost can enlighten and empower a believer--for both religions.

Both religions teach that man is the highest creation of God and that all are created, and should be treated, as equals.  Christ's sacrifice provides the means for men to be saved for eternity.  Both teach that true Christians should endure to the end and not forsake their faith, even in trials.  Both churches baptize their members and believe that members should spread the knowledge of Christ throughout the world.  Each church is directed by Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Each individual is responsible for his or her own actions.  Both churches believe that only men may hold key leadership positions, as proscribed by the scriptures.

Both religions use the sacrament as a means of remembering Christ and turning their thoughts to Him.  Both churches believe that missionary work must be accompanied by Christlike lives.  Both believe that Sunday is the day Christ was resurrected and should be kept sacred.  Both believe in the Second Coming and Christ's judgment of all men.  The Southern Baptist website states that "all that we have and are we owe to [Christ]," a recurring theme in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well.  Both teach members that they should devote their time, talents, and material possessions to His work.

The site states that "[c]ooperation is desirable between the various Christian denominations."  For some reason, people outside of the LDS church think that we are "cliquish" and keep to ourselves, but we are taught to embrace members of other religions.  We do not believe that only Mormons will go to heaven, or that Mormons are the only good people.

"Christians should oppose racism, every form of greed, selfishness, and vice, and all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography. We should work to provide for the orphaned, the needy, the abused, the aged, the helpless, and the sick. We should speak on behalf of the unborn and contend for the sanctity of all human life from conception to natural death" (Southern Baptist site).  LDS members believe the exact same things.


"God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood or adoption.
"Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. ... The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation... Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God's pattern for marriage"  (Southern Baptist site).

"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
"All human beings--male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny...
"We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan...
"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed." (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation)
Am I the only one that sees a pattern here?  God is God, no matter what you call Him, or how you envision Him.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I'm Smart

I'm going to college, and have been for over a decade.  We kept moving, so I had to change institutions (and majors) multiple times.  I have more than enough credits to have a Bachelor's degree, but I don't even have a certificate of participation to show for the last ten years of my life.  I've been feeling really discouraged, wondering why the heck I'm still going to school.  Then, I got a call from my college yesterday saying they had a financial aid check for me to pick up.  I had applied for scholarships, so I was all excited, thinking I'd gotten one for $25.  Yeah, I got one for $700.

Boo-yah!

Go me!

I'm awesome!

And rich!

My Mom Belongs in a Book

My dad paints, and he recently had someone commission a portrait from him.  My parents have two schnoodles that bark like crazy whenever anyone knocks on the door.  They also have those doorknobs that will open on the inside, even if they are locked, so they are constantly locking themselves out of the house.

A few days ago, my dad went outside.  A short time later, a knock sounded on their door.  The dogs went berserk, so my mom went to the door, yelling at the dogs and spraying them with a water bottle.  Assuming my dad had locked himself out (again), she opened the door and sprayed the knocker in the face.  Multiple times.

It wasn't my dad.

It was the guy that commissioned the painting.

My mom belongs in a book.  Especially considering that, after the guy came inside, she couldn't find my dad and had to send him away to come back another day.

The Donner Party

As a child growing up in the United States, the Donner Party has always been a part of my education.  I went through the initial horror when I learned that they ate each other.  As the years passed, I started to feel real empathy for them, then I decided, "Heck, they were dead, why not eat their bodies?"

Little did I know just how messed up this whole situation was.

Where the Donner Party became stranded in heavy winter snows was land occupied by the Washoe Native American tribe.  There is much documentation that the Washoe watched the Donner Party, were aware they were starving, and (here's the frightening part) made numerous attempts to provide the Donner Party with food.  What did the Donner Party do?  Shoot at them.  Ignore the food they threw across to them.  They even killed one of the Washoe.

When I told my best friend all of this, her response?  "The Donner Party were just really people persons."

Buh-duh-dum.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Some Clouds Are All Silver, Not Just The Lining

Why am I happy today?  I'll tell you why--the light bulb in my microwave burned out.

Now, I know you're thinking I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not.  Yes, a replacement bulb is sure to be some outrageous amount, but I'm not going to buy one.  Why?  Because now it's much harder to see just how dirty my microwave is.

That is all.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Hemi


Several months ago, someone broke into our house while my toddler and I were home alone.  Jake and Kellin didn't even twitch, they were both so deaf.  It scared me badly enough that we adopted Hemi.

Hemi's previous owners were very sad to let him go, but they had a cruel neighbor that was constantly harassing Hemi.  He weighed 125 pounds and was a big boy.

Only a few days after we brought Hemi home, he went stir crazy so I let him into the front yard.  He was running laps, full tilt, when my daughter stepped out in front of him.  He bowled over her, knocking her end over end across our sidewalk and lawn.  It was a horrifying thing to watch.  We were nervous about keeping him, after that, but we are so glad we did.

Hemi was the biggest softy you could ever hope to meet, but he looked terrifying.  One day, a mom, grandma, and grandson were walking past our house.  Hemi jumped up on our fence; his weight jarred the latch on the gate open, so Hemi ran out of the yard to go and tell them, "Hi."  The grandma started beating the crap out of him--he was running in circles, she was chasing him, and I was barreling out of the house.  By the time I got my doors unlocked, he had escaped into the yard and the three people were literally running down the street.  Hemi was on the ground, shaking, and he peed everywhere.  I yelled, "Sorry!" after the people, but I really wanted to yell, "Quit beating on my poor rottweiler, you jerk!"  I called Steve at work and warned him that someone would probably call the sheriff's office and report a vicious dog; they never did, thankfully.  I would have ripped their heads off.

We only had Hemi six months when, one Sunday, he started whining and not wanting to get off the couch.  We put a heat pad on his back, assuming he had slipped on the ice in our front yard and pulled a muscle.  The next morning, he wouldn't get off the dog bed in our bedroom.  I threaded a towel under his waist and lifted his back end, thinking it just hurt too much for him to stand; his legs just dangled beneath him.  I took him in to the vet later that day, thinking still that he'd hurt his back; we'd put him on Rimadyl and give him cortisone shots for the rest of his life--expensive, but nothing new in our world.  Our vet informed us that he had slipped a disc in his spine and damage his spinal cord, paralyzing himself.  She would pinch his back feet, and he couldn't feel anything; she called this having no withdrawal and informed us that, even with intensive surgery, there was no hope of him ever walking again.  We had to put him to sleep.

I still vacillate between anger and disbelief that this all happened.  Really?  He paralyzed himself?  I still wonder why God told us to get Hemi when we only got him for six months; I'll probably never understand.  I'm still glad we had him, in spite of the pain.

Things I Wish I Knew Forever Ago


  1. Paying for satellite/cable TV is a complete waste.  We got rid of Dish Network and went solely to Netflix, and everything is so much better!  We get to laugh like crazy when Dish sends us junk mail saying we're paying too much for TV.  We don't argue over someone taking up more than their fair share of space on the DVR.  There's all sorts of fabulous Australian shows on Netflix that Dish doesn't carry.  And, because there's so much control on Netflix, we're protected from random nakedness (most of the time).  Yay, Netflix!
  2. Grilled cheese sandwiches.  Ah, the bliss.  First of all, if you're going to make a grilled cheese, you've gotta have a huge slice of cheese...and it never melts before the bread burns.  Enter, aluminum foil!  Just set a piece over the top of the sandwich, and it not only cooks faster, the cheese is always perfectly gooey (and I'm particular about my gooey cheese).  On top of that, a brilliant woman showed me that you don't need to dirty a knife to cut the sandwiches--use a spatula, and it's quick, easy, and there's no slippage of the bread.  Brilliant!
  3. I can't keep flies out of my house in the summer, and my cats are too old to catch them anymore.  I got desperate enough to hang a gallon bag of water over my door, in spite of looking like an idiot.  People, it works.  I don't know why, but it does.  Let people laugh--I have no flies. :P
  4. When your dishwasher gets all scummy and nasty, just put some Tang in the soap dispenser and run a full cycle through it.  Your dishwasher will be scrubbed sparkling clean, and you'll never drink Tang again.  Unless you're doing some weird kind of cleanse.
  5. Wrap fresh broccoli in aluminum foil before refrigerating.  The junk goes so limp and gross in a day or two, but aluminum foil keeps it crisp.  Who knew?

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014

So, because I'm completely disorganized since Chemistry rotted my brain (I passed by a miracle, BTW), I don't have a 2014 calendar.  And because I need so desperately to record when Bountiful Baskets occurs, I made my own (for January, at least).  Enjoy.

January 2014







1




New Year's Day
2
3
4








5








6
7
8
9
10
11






12




13
14
15
16
17
18








19




20






Martin Luther King Jr. Day
21
22
23
24
25








26




27
28
29
30
31