To whom it may concern:
My child was absent from school September 6-7. This absence was unavoidable due to the following reasons:
1) Her mother is an idiot.
2) When loading the truck to travel home from vacation, always remember to not, under any circumstances, place your keys inside of the trunk as the truck will automatically lock itself after 90 seconds.
3) It is nearly impossible to find any sort of help when said mother is an idiot on Labor Day.
4) By the time the keys were retrieved, it was very late at night and traveling back home would have been hazardous.
5) The next morning, the same truck that likes to lock itself decided to go kerplooey by lighting up with all sorts of hazard warnings and refusing to allow either turn signal or the hazard lights to work.
6) Idiot mother was forced to drive 261.4 miles to a dealership to have truck repaired.
7) Truck repair took five hours, again leaving it unsafe to travel home without hitting various wild and domesticated animals.
8) Idiot mother is now ordering a lanyard for her keys off of amazon.com
2) When loading the truck to travel home from vacation, always remember to not, under any circumstances, place your keys inside of the trunk as the truck will automatically lock itself after 90 seconds.
3) It is nearly impossible to find any sort of help when said mother is an idiot on Labor Day.
4) By the time the keys were retrieved, it was very late at night and traveling back home would have been hazardous.
5) The next morning, the same truck that likes to lock itself decided to go kerplooey by lighting up with all sorts of hazard warnings and refusing to allow either turn signal or the hazard lights to work.
6) Idiot mother was forced to drive 261.4 miles to a dealership to have truck repaired.
7) Truck repair took five hours, again leaving it unsafe to travel home without hitting various wild and domesticated animals.
8) Idiot mother is now ordering a lanyard for her keys off of amazon.com
Thank you for your understanding in this matter. Unfortunately, it is unlikely to be the last of its kind. Idiocy appears to be a chronic condition. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at any time.
Sincerely,
The Idiot Mother
