Fresh Young Gagonut

Sometimes, Bountiful Baskets gives us some strange things.

Sometimes, those things are surprisingly good (persimmons, Brussels sprouts).

Sometimes the things are completely disgusting.

We got a fresh young coconut this week.  I've tried it before and remember how nasty it is, but my husband didn't believe me.  He hacked the thing open and it was pinkish.  Didn't deter him.  He drained it and got the "jelly" (he described it as snot) out and blended them.  It looked like pink vomit.  It tasted like butt.  He added Otter Pops.  It looked even more like vomit.  The taste made him swear and literally vomit into the sink.

Moral of the story?

Stay away from fresh young coconut.

Things I'm Going to Forget

1. When my daughter was just learning to talk, she'd always demand to watch "Happy."  It took me forever to figure out that she meant Barney the Dinosaur.  She called him Happy for ages.
2. One day, my daughter's friend got to ride on a booster seat rather than a standard car seat.  I knew it would upset my little angel, so I told her that I would call her "Madam" and she would be important and junk.  She asked who I was if she was Madam.  I told her I was "Butler."  Clear as can be, she responded, "You're butt crack?"
3. To this day, she calls potatoes igoes (eye-goes).  Don't know where she got that from, but, even at 3-and-a-half, if she accidentally says "potatoes" she'll correct herself with "igoes."
4. Currently, her favorite song is "Where is Thumbkin?"  She will do all the different characters (ring-man, tall-man, etc.), but only her thumb or her pointer gets moved.  She always responds to "How are you today, sir?" with "Thank you for the well day."
5. When singing "I am a Child of God," she always says, "Lead me, guide me, walk in my shoes."
6. When she first started feeding herself, the second she was full she would throw all of her food on the floor.  I never managed to get there fast enough to save anything.
7. Hamburgers are actually hand-ga-burgers.  And, no, she won't eat them.
8. For a long time, her future career choice was one of Santa's elves. 
9. She got her first love note in kindergarten.

Must See on Netflix

When you're feeling sappy...

• Snow
• Scents and Sensibility

For the whole family

• The Lost Medallion
• The Lost and Found Family

When you're feeling regal...

• Wives & Daughters

When you're feeling 14-years-old...

• Crash & Bernstein
• Mako Mermaids
• H2O
• Wolfblood

When your husband's whining about all the girly shows...

• Outcasts
• Survivors
• Primeval

You're welcome

Celebrity Crushes

So, I'm totally lame, and even though I'm old and way, WAY married, I still have celebrity crushes.  For a long time, this is the character I would have run away with...


Today's character is...



















Now, let me be absolutely clear.  It's the CHARACTERS here that I'm pseudo-in-love with, not the people.  Not even their physical appearances.  And if you don't understand, go watch Once Upon a Time.  You hermit.

Looks wise, this is my new dream boat...



Totally Evan-licious.

And if you don't get that, go read my books.

And, yes, dude is WAY too young for me...but not too young to be Evan...

It's not my fault I'm ancient.

And, again, I'm WAY married.  This is just an effort to cement my lame-status for all eternity.

Think Your Day's Bad?

• Not enough sleep
• Nausea
• Respiratory virus
• Dog with explosive diarrhea
• Scrubbing dried diarrhea off floor, toilet, walls, sink
• Looming mineral identification quiz
• 7 papers to review
• Lecture to watch
• House to clean
• Meals to cook
• Sick toddler to care for
• Homework

On the other hand

• I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from
• I don't have to worry about my daughter being taken by ISIS
• I have a house, a bed, electricity, running potable water, medicine, peace

How's your day?

Coolest Checker Ever

I just went to the store and picked up a dental prescription for my husband.  I got a few other things, and put the prescription on the check out counter so it would get bagged with my groceries.  I wasn't really paying attention, and the checker didn't put it in the bag.

HOWEVER....

He did chase me into the parking lot, yelling, "Hey!  You forgot your husband's suppositories!"

Best

Day

Ever

Baptists & Mormons

I just had a really strange experience.  I recently changed doctors, and my new doctor mentioned to me that prayer can be very helpful.  I agreed with him, and we ended up in a discussion about religion.  He asked what church I go to, and I told him that my family and I are LDS.

Just for further clarification, LDS is a term relating to Mormons, though the official name of our church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Anyway, back to the story.

The doctor was super nice and everything, and told me that he's Baptist.  I told him that I had a friend when I was in elementary school whose father was a Baptist minister.  I then said that I was surprised when I attended church with her to see just how similar the two religions are.

He was horrified.

Don't get me wrong, he was still way nice and everything, but I could tell that he was totally not okay with being compared to a Mormon.  He essentially said that the two religions are nothing alike.  So, I decided to write a post about how they are the same.  Because I'm bored.  And this blog is dedicated to random crapito.

I tried to find the most "official" site I could for the Baptist religion and settled on http://www.sbc.net/aboutus/basicbeliefs.asp, which is the Southern Baptist Convention.  In the first sentence on this page, they say that their mission is to "reach the world for Christ."  Mormons believe the same thing.

The site then says, "The Holy Bible was written by men divinely inspired and is God's revelation of Himself to man."  Match.  "It reveals the principles by which God judges us....All Scripture is a testimony to Christ, who is Himself the focus of divine revelation."  Checkerino.

We both believe that Christ is the Son of God, though there is a difference of opinion about whether God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are one or three people.  In spite of this, belief in Christ's mission and atonement are the same.  The Holy Ghost can enlighten and empower a believer--for both religions.

Both religions teach that man is the highest creation of God and that all are created, and should be treated, as equals.  Christ's sacrifice provides the means for men to be saved for eternity.  Both teach that true Christians should endure to the end and not forsake their faith, even in trials.  Both churches baptize their members and believe that members should spread the knowledge of Christ throughout the world.  Each church is directed by Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Each individual is responsible for his or her own actions.  Both churches believe that only men may hold key leadership positions, as proscribed by the scriptures.

Both religions use the sacrament as a means of remembering Christ and turning their thoughts to Him.  Both churches believe that missionary work must be accompanied by Christlike lives.  Both believe that Sunday is the day Christ was resurrected and should be kept sacred.  Both believe in the Second Coming and Christ's judgment of all men.  The Southern Baptist website states that "all that we have and are we owe to [Christ]," a recurring theme in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well.  Both teach members that they should devote their time, talents, and material possessions to His work.

The site states that "[c]ooperation is desirable between the various Christian denominations."  For some reason, people outside of the LDS church think that we are "cliquish" and keep to ourselves, but we are taught to embrace members of other religions.  We do not believe that only Mormons will go to heaven, or that Mormons are the only good people.

"Christians should oppose racism, every form of greed, selfishness, and vice, and all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography. We should work to provide for the orphaned, the needy, the abused, the aged, the helpless, and the sick. We should speak on behalf of the unborn and contend for the sanctity of all human life from conception to natural death" (Southern Baptist site).  LDS members believe the exact same things.

"God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood or adoption.

"Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. ... The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation... Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God's pattern for marriage"  (Southern Baptist site).

"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

"All human beings--male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny...

"We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan...

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed." (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation)

Am I the only one that sees a pattern here?  God is God, no matter what you call Him, or how you envision Him.